Woe to Them That Are at Ease in Zion

Last Saturday's Salt Lake Tribune included a jaw-dropping portrait of the laughably enthusiastic group B'nai Shalom, "an organization that is described . . . as including Mormons who 'share a common Jewish heritage or have an interest and love for the Jewish people and their culture'. " Reporter Jessica Ravitz points out that the group was "created 40 years ago in part to encourage Jewish genealogical research to further temple work." Ah.

Of the 350 people who attended the gathering featured in the story, "no more than two dozen . . . were born into Jewish homes. . . . The bulk of people in attendance seem to be Mormons . . . whose curiosity brought [them] through the door."

The funniest, and oddest, aspects of the story involve the earnestness of the attendees to associate themselves with Judaism. One participant notes, "Jewish culture is fascinating. It's fun to see the Jews here, too."

Look kids! Hebrews!

One is reminded of New Age gatherings in which the crystal pyramids are put aside momentarily while the white people discuss their Native American ancestry and their quest for a spirit guide. Another participant at the gathering "says of her family, 'We had Rosenbaums . . . a long time ago'." Legitimacy at last!

It's hard not to choke when reading of "the two young men who stroll in dressed as Orthodox Jews, straight out of central casting. . . . The giveaway that this is not their regular attire comes when Jason, who refuses to give his last name, reaches out to shake a woman's hand." Ravitz notes that a real Orthodox Jewish man would never do this.

The adoption of Orthodox gear in an attempt to lend some kind of authenticity to these proceedings seems akin to Al Jolson busting out another chorus of "Mammy." It's like blackface for Mormons.

Perhaps even more pathetic than these clowns playing dress-up are the so-called "Jewish Mormons" who are prone to declarations like "the future of Judaism is Christ" and "the Book of Mormon is more Jewish than the Talmud." Oh, really? Too bad the Book of Mormon has only been around for 177 years; I bet those Hebrews back in Moses' day could have really used its insights. Makes you wonder if all those Jews in the concentration camps died for the right reasons. If only they had known!

The whole article leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm neither Mormon nor Jewish, but I felt sorry for both of them. And appalled. I'm not the only one, it seems. Check out the comments at the bottom of the page, after the plug for the General Conference. Just in case you forgot who's running this show.

Know Your (Fascist) Onion

For the second semester in a row, I'm teaching a writing class using depictions of terrorism in film and literature. But this semester has been a rude awakening for me as I realize the shocking lack of knowledge my students have about current and historical events. Just last week, I realized (after asking them) that at least half of my students had never heard of Guantanamo Bay or what the United States has been doing there for the past five years. On another occasion, I found myself having to explain the experiments performed on African-American men at Tuskegee. And last Thursday, a student interrupted my discussion of fascism as it is presented in V for Vendetta. She did not recognize the term.

Most of my students were, I realize with a shiver at my advancing years, only junior high students in 2001. But does that excuse what I can only assume to be a willful ignorance about what has been done in their names in the ensuing five years? It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to dismiss statements such as these, which I read in a student paper this evening:

"Rock and roll didn't come around until Elvis made his first song. Before him was only country music."

"You have to understand that this song [Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A."] is saying that we went to war, and committed rape while we were there. These women get pregnant [and] give birth without the father around."

"Vietnam was before my time, but from what I understand we were helping and didn't have to be in that country at all. We were sticking our nose in affairs when we shouldn't have."

All of the preceding statements come from a paper that criticizes the Dixie Chicks for making what the student calls "extremely unpatriotic" statements about George W. Bush. The student concludes:

"I think that people will still take chances [by] making stupid comments in public. . . I feel that bands [giving] their opinions of politics and taking the chance of being 'dixie chicked' [the student's term for having one's career ruined because of negative public reaction to unpatriotic statements] should just shut up and play the music that made them popular."

Here is a student who knows nothing of the background of the U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War (or the history of popular music, especially the kind performed by black folk), who advocates blind patriotism, and would curtail the right of free speech to entertainers. This student's sentiments are not unusual among his classmates, most of whom have (I assume) graduated from high schools in rural areas of the southwestern United States.

But I will give him credit for this: he knows a thing or two about fascism, and is a model student for the next New Order, whose soundtrack will be provided by our Wagner for the 21st century, Elvis Presley.

Portrait of a City Under Seige

As part of its coverage of the Trolley Square shootings in downtown Salt Lake, the city's NBC affiliate pre-empted that evening's episode of Heroes. Reading some of the comments on this page makes me wonder if the gunman should have targeted a different group of people. No one is safe, indeed.

Disclaimer: Heroes is one of my favorite shows. As evidence of my devotion, here are some pictures of Hayden Panettiere. Save the cheerleader!

Disclaimer #2: Yeah, I'm old enough to be her flying daddy.

I was watching 24 when news of the shootings came on the air. After a brief announcement, 24 came back on at the precise moment a CTU agent was seen firing an automatic weapon at a terrorist at point-blank range. In retrospect, the newscast doesn't seem like that much of an interruption.

Utah Quote of the Week

from a January 31 article in the Salt Lake Tribune regarding approval by the Utah House of Representatives' Health and Human Services Committee to impose a statewide ban on abortion:

Eagle Forum Secretary Marianne Christensen, the only member of the public to speak for the bill, said unborn babies need lawmakers to defend them. She predicted divine retribution if abortions continue.

"We are a nation founded with divine providence. We will continue to prosper if we adhere to principles that will cause those blessings to fall upon our heads. If we degenerate to the point where we kill our own offspring, that's not something God is going to tolerate for long," Christensen warned.

I like the not-so-veiled threat in Christensen's comments. And just how, one wonders, will God express his intolerance of abortion doctors and those inclined to let women do what they want with their bodies? A Level 5 Hurricane? A declaration of martial law by George W? Another season of American Idol? Or will some of Christensen's ideological allies feel justified in taking up arms in order to carry out God's will? Doesn't sound out of the question, does it? And that's the scariest aspect of this quote.

In semi-related news, I may get to see Children of Men tonight before it disappears from the local theatre. But I'm surprised it even showed up here.

Note on Chazzbot: Blogger has updated some of its features, so I might be playing around with fonts and formatting in the next few days. One new feature that I will definitely be taking advantage of soon is the ability to label and index my posts. And so we begin to find order through chaos.

Another Utah Senator for Family Values

I don't know. You decide. Is this guy just a racist asshole or an ignorant fuck? (My guess: probably a little of both.) Either way, Utah State Senator Chris Buttars is yet another shining example of the kind of people who routinely get elected here:

"Sen. Buttars says ruling against school segregation was wrong."

For the record, Buttars also disputes the theory of evolution, saying, in this editorial, that it has "more holes than a crocheted bathtub." Way to work the creative metaphor, Senator!

I'll say this for Utah voters: they're loyal to their own kind.

Speaking of racist assholes, check out this fascinating look at the prime-time hate-speech forum that is Lou Dobbs Tonight. Looks like open racism in America is as mainstream as apple pie. Again.