Led Zep to Join Journey in Ranks of "Douchiest Rock Band"
Check out this story.
Now, I understand that Robert Plant perhaps does not have the full incredible vocal range that he used to, and that lesser mortals (such as, say, Billy Joel) have employed back-up singers to cover those notes that are now beyond the reach of the, ahem, elder rock statesman. I'm OK with that. (Let's put aside for the moment that Plant delivered one of the best vocal performances of last year in his collaboration with Alison Krauss.)
I also understand that Led Zeppelin could have, at any time during the past 30 years, hastily organized a reunion tour and, with minimal-to-no rehearsal time, filled up stadiums around the world and made a shitload of money, like pretty much every other rock band that broke up prior to 1999.
But the idea of Led Zep touring without Robert Plant in front of the mic is perhaps the douchiest and most misguided idea in popular music since Natalie Cole recorded a "duet" with her long-dead father. Consider, for example, the reaction of many longtime fans to the re-emergence of Journey (I know this is comparing apples to rotting corpses, but bear with me) with a new lead singer who not only sounds remarkably like Rock Icon Steve Perry, but fucking looks just like him as well. Now, any O.G. Journey fan with anything resembling a sense of integrity (to their own taste, if no one else's), regards the touring original members of Journey as giant douchebags. And rightly fucking so.
Keep in mind here that Led Zep, upon the death of their drummer, Rock Icon John Bonham, almost immediately decided to put the band to rest forever. No Bonham, no Zep. And rock fans at the time, though sad at the loss of perhaps the greatest rock band on the planet at that time, recognized and fucking respected the wisdom of the surviving band members. In fact, such was the level of respect engendered by this move, that many of us even forgave the decision to release the band's outtakes (the execrable Coda) as sort of a farewell present to the fans.
Thirty years down the road, the decision to reunite without John Bonham is understandable, if not quite forgivable, only because John's son, Jason, is perhaps the only person worthy to pound the skins behind Plant, Page, and Jones.
But the concept of Led Zeppelin touring with a replacement lead singer is the stupidest fucking idea in rock history and is doomed to failure. I hope that anyone who calls him/her self a fan of Led Zeppelin will excoriate this decision in the harshest possible terms in order to let Page, Jones and Bonham II know that, if they proceed with this plan, they will forever be regarded as the Douchiest Band in Rock History.
(And I say this in spite of Robert Plant's almost equally douchy quote from the article that Led Zeppelin has "never been about the fans." Mr. Plant, I respect your integrity and, in comparison with your bandmates, may come to worship your integrity, but as a long-standing Led Zep fan, I cannot let such dismissive statements stand without sending you a hearty "Fuck you.")
I have spoken. We now return you to continued aesthetic contemplation of Physical Graffitti.
Now, I understand that Robert Plant perhaps does not have the full incredible vocal range that he used to, and that lesser mortals (such as, say, Billy Joel) have employed back-up singers to cover those notes that are now beyond the reach of the, ahem, elder rock statesman. I'm OK with that. (Let's put aside for the moment that Plant delivered one of the best vocal performances of last year in his collaboration with Alison Krauss.)
I also understand that Led Zeppelin could have, at any time during the past 30 years, hastily organized a reunion tour and, with minimal-to-no rehearsal time, filled up stadiums around the world and made a shitload of money, like pretty much every other rock band that broke up prior to 1999.
But the idea of Led Zep touring without Robert Plant in front of the mic is perhaps the douchiest and most misguided idea in popular music since Natalie Cole recorded a "duet" with her long-dead father. Consider, for example, the reaction of many longtime fans to the re-emergence of Journey (I know this is comparing apples to rotting corpses, but bear with me) with a new lead singer who not only sounds remarkably like Rock Icon Steve Perry, but fucking looks just like him as well. Now, any O.G. Journey fan with anything resembling a sense of integrity (to their own taste, if no one else's), regards the touring original members of Journey as giant douchebags. And rightly fucking so.
Keep in mind here that Led Zep, upon the death of their drummer, Rock Icon John Bonham, almost immediately decided to put the band to rest forever. No Bonham, no Zep. And rock fans at the time, though sad at the loss of perhaps the greatest rock band on the planet at that time, recognized and fucking respected the wisdom of the surviving band members. In fact, such was the level of respect engendered by this move, that many of us even forgave the decision to release the band's outtakes (the execrable Coda) as sort of a farewell present to the fans.
Thirty years down the road, the decision to reunite without John Bonham is understandable, if not quite forgivable, only because John's son, Jason, is perhaps the only person worthy to pound the skins behind Plant, Page, and Jones.
But the concept of Led Zeppelin touring with a replacement lead singer is the stupidest fucking idea in rock history and is doomed to failure. I hope that anyone who calls him/her self a fan of Led Zeppelin will excoriate this decision in the harshest possible terms in order to let Page, Jones and Bonham II know that, if they proceed with this plan, they will forever be regarded as the Douchiest Band in Rock History.
(And I say this in spite of Robert Plant's almost equally douchy quote from the article that Led Zeppelin has "never been about the fans." Mr. Plant, I respect your integrity and, in comparison with your bandmates, may come to worship your integrity, but as a long-standing Led Zep fan, I cannot let such dismissive statements stand without sending you a hearty "Fuck you.")
I have spoken. We now return you to continued aesthetic contemplation of Physical Graffitti.
posted by Chazzbot at 11:11 AM
17 Comments:
F.Y.I. Your comment that Billy Joel uses 'backup singers' to hit high notes for him is 100% false. You don't know what you're talking about. Joel has dropped the keys of some of his songs in order to hit the higher notes, but no more than a single tone or a half tone. NO ONE except Billy Joel himself sings every melody note of his songs. I'm sick of the bullshit that flies around about this guy. I know what I'm talking about because I've worked with the man for over 30 years and he is as real and as professional as it gets. Do some honest research before you throw crap like that out here.
I have a commercial video recording of Joel performing "An Innocent Man" live and, during the chorus, the camera focuses on a backup singer singing the title refrain. Joel either cannot or does not wish to hit those notes. The proof is not only on-screen, but in the obvious tonal differences between the two singers.
As far as "honest research", why don't you leave your name so I can find out who you are and whether you actually have any credibility to speak on Joel's behalf?
Clarification: The back-up singer covers the "I am" portion of the lyrics in the chorus.
Follow-up: Here's a link to an audio-only YouTube posting of a Billy Joel performance in which it is clearly someone other than Billy Joel singing "I am" in the chorus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utdf_3s-OH0
Took me less than a minute to find this. Honest research in action.
And there's this from the Wikipedia entry on Billy Joel:
The album Концерт, Russian for "Concert," was released in the fall of 1987. Singer Peter Hewlitt was brought in to hit the high notes on his most vocally challenging songs, like "An Innocent Man."
The non-existent back-up singer who hits Billy Joel's high notes now has a name!
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This comment has been removed by the author.
As one who teaches history at a major U.S. university, I always appreciate anyone encouraging, even demanding, that someone writing something do his or her research before publishing. However, as a perceptive reader, nearly as rewarding (and mirth-generating) is joyously reveling in the delicious irony of some anonymous douchebag failing to have researched the research skills or research thoroughness of the very person he or she is accusing in that very same moment of not having done his research--all while failing to demonstrate the integrity to believe enough in one's own position to attach one's name proudly to it. I nominate "Anonymous" for the Douchiest Blog Post of the Year, first, for violating his or her very precepts simultaneously with his or her sanctimonious preaching of self-same; and second, for failing to ante up enough self-respect to have the courage to post his or her name proudly and with integrity at the head of his or her ironic & douchy anonymous post. Signed, Matt "diencaidau" Irwin
Why don't you come to a show and decide for yourself Matt? My name is Wayne and I have been Billy's keyboard roadie for over 30 years. Before you go nominating people as douchebags, perhaps you need to do a little research yourself. And I'm not impressed with your academic credentia. I've got more history in my life on the road than you'll ever have in your little ivory tower in your major U.S. university.
Wayne Williams, is that you? Wayne and I used to hang.
Well, Wayne, I at least respect that you managed to regale us with your (at least, first) name and (allegedly) ever so impressive resume. I suspect that coming out of the shadows of anonymity into the spotlight of honesty & forthrightness likely must first occur in baby steps. I've never hidden my mediocrity backstage behind someone else's greatness, so I wouldn't know. I applaud your tenacity, though.
You'll have to help us all out with a few things, though. Decide what, exactly? Whether you qualify as a douchbag? Veteran Billy Joel roadie douchebag at that? You may have confirmed that one all on your own when you broadcast your hypocrisy earlier by judging Chazbot for the very infraction you yourself committed. You may well have solidified your nomination by further ignoring most of my points, or more damningly still, by similarly and conveniently ignoring all the evidence Chazbot furnished to support his argument. But merely alleging your intimacy with Mr. Joel doesn't erase the douchebaggery of your initial post--or your second, for that matter--nearly so well as you actually and respectfully addressing Chazbot's points would.
Furthermore, I never purported to require your approval of my credentials, though you seem severely defensive about yours. Understandable. Having to conjure some sense of value and purpose for the life you've chosen arguably befalls you regularly, so I can't really hold that against you. I've never had to apologize for my life or my credentials, so I wouldn't know what that’s like, either.
And let me offer you a news flash, O troglodytic trunkmeister: history happens everywhere, always accumulating in every place, in every time, all the time, in every life, whether spent on the road with a musical legend or crossing paths & sharing time with myriad compelling lives seeking to learn of themselves and their world within the halls of a university. Your history may interest you more than mine does (though you have no earthly idea what that could possibly be, so your hypocrisy, along with your idiocy, seems to know no bounds), but that doesn't change the fact that history exists universally & eternally. Perhaps if you picked up more books and fewer musical instrument trunks, you'd have realized such truth before you opened your mouth and inserted a shoe store--again.
All that aside, though, let's up the ante, shall we? Given that you claim you're so close to Mr. Joel, then I've no doubt that your close personal friend, the Piano Man himself, will prove both willing and able to descend from his luxury hotel room to the cozy confines of your roadie RV, get online, and furnish us with his own evidence to the contrary of Chazbot's--with, of course, some concrete way to verify Mr. Joel's legendary identity as well. Not that we shouldn't trust you, but you've proven full of fecal matter so far....
So, until you either rationally address my contention that you, in fact, waxed moderately hypocritical, or you dismantle Chazbot's argument convincingly with irrefutable evidence of your own (besides your yet dubious claim to thirty years of non-fame), I’ll have to forego rescinding any notion of you and your posts’ consummate douchebaggery status.
I’ll await either your evidence or your silence with equal anticipation—very little.
Sincerely,
Matt “diencaidau” Irwin
I tell you what, Matt - don't bother coming to a show. If two words on two tapes on one song qualifies as evidence in your condescending mind that Mr. Joel doesn't sing his own songs, then your expertise in 'history' is obviously already suspect. But you may still be the snottiest douchebag I've never met. Let's keep it that way, okay? Sincerely, Wayne
Wayne, if it assuages your conscience or ego to call me condescending for having rebuked and corrected your fallacious claim of somehow possessing "more history" than others do merely because you happen to enjoy your job (but we read & write books and teach, so our lives must hold no historical validity or value), assuage away. If calling me snotty for holding you accountable for generating evidence like every other credible argument must do somehow eases and soothes the impact of you realizing that you're the one who has irreparably damaged his OWN credibility as an authority on ANYTHING, then go right ahead and sooth yourself. Call me what you will if it makes you feel somehow bigger or better. Clearly, your inferiority complex issues lie long-simmering within you, and no amount of corrective logic I employ in just trying to get you to back up your argument or admit your hypocrisy will likely help. The nice thing is, I don't have to own your issues. You do.
Still, I can't help but find amusement (and reinforcement) at the now quite predictable fact that, yet a third time, you have utterly avoided answering Chazbot's argument; you have sidestepped confessing to your own hypocrisy; and you have run, hurling epithets, away from the burden of producing anything even remotely resembling credible evidence for your position. Clearly, the idea that we might actually, once again, require you to produce evidence, or even Mr. Joel's testimony itself, to vindicate either your story or your position proved too much for you to bear. I'm certainly amused--but not the least surprised.
We all have our own issues, myself included. I can be arrogant at times, and I openly admit to having to continue working through that unbecoming character trait. But I won't likely soon feel I have to apologize for holding you or others accountable for their untenable positions. Moreover, I truly hope you one day muster the courage to take a long, honest look at yourself, face your issues, and realize that redeeming yourself in your own eyes (because others' eyes don't really matter) will come far easier when you negotiate your relationships--even through blog posts--with honesty and self-accountability. Best of luck to you, Wayne Whomever. And give Mr. Joel our warmest regards. Believe it or not, we actually respect and admire him greatly, both for his genius and for his decades of sharing his musical gifts with the world.
Sincerely,
Matt "diencaidau" Irwin
P.S., By the way, if you read closely you'll find that neither Chazbot nor myself ever even suggested--let alone claimed--that "Mr. Joel doesn't sing his own songs." Chaz merely pointed out that Mr. Joel has aged enough that on rare occasions, he employs back-up singers to cover some of those notes reaching into songs' upper registers that he no longer wants or is able to attempt. Peace, love, & truth, M."d" I.
Billy Joel does NOT -repeat - does NOT employ 'backup singers' to "cover some of those notes reaching into songs upper registers that he no longer wants or is able to attempt." If there are tapes, videos or witnesses to verify that someone else sang two words on a random night, then please excuse Mr. Joel from possibly suffering from a sore throat on one night or even two nights during a year-long tour. My authenticity has nothing to do with what is empirical fact. Thank you for your concern about my moral, emotional, and spiritual health. Goodbye, Wayne
So Wayne, I guess a request for front-row tickets, backstage passes to the next show, or a Chazbot blog appearance from Mr. Joel is rather out of the question at this juncture? I mean, we are fans, after all.... Who else cares this much about arriving at the truth you seem so unwilling and/or unable to provide? And what with your inside connections and all, I thought maybe you could swing some--since we've openly extended to you so many opportunities to acquit yourself. How about reciprocating the generosity? What do you say?
Best of luck to you on the tour, Wayne. Stay safe, and keep doing all you do to enable the Piano Man to bring us all that awesome music. Truly. No sarcasm intended or implied (at least on this last paragraph).
Peace, love, & still pursuing truth,
M. "d" I.
This has to be one of the most absurd arguments of all times. A good read, but sbsurd.
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