1.30.2006

Post #100!

Actually, this is post #102, but I felt like this sustained achievement in self-absorbed blogging deserved some kind of special recognition. So today I bring you my answers to the "Proust Questionnaire," a list of questions I hand out to my students at the beginning of each semester in a misguided attempt to understand and appreciate them as human beings. I first came across the questionnaire in the pages of Vanity Fair, the magazine that has never met a millionaire it didn't like. You can read more about the origins of the questionnaire (not invented by Proust, oddly enough) here.

Sometimes, one of the bolder students will pipe up and ask why I don't provide my answers for them, so here is my latest set of responses:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A long, uninterrupted reading session, without pants.

What is your greatest fear?
Falling from a great height.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Copernicus.

Which living person do you most admire?
Stephen Hawking, William T. Vollmann, John Glenn

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My susceptibility to purchasing collectibles.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness,willful ignorance, apathy.

What is your greatest extravagance?
The house I live in.

What is your favorite journey?
Driving up the Callifornia coast along Highway 101.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Beauty.

On what occasion do you lie?
When answering questionnaires.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My slovenly girth.

Which living person do you most despise?
Dick Cheney.

Which talent would you most like to have?
Musical ability.

What is your current state of mind?
Kicking into "I really should get to work" mode.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
New eyes with that focusing feature I've read so much about.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Only one? Improved communication skills.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Getting my writing published.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A bird trapped in a cathedral or a superstore.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
A condor dropping stones on cathedrals and superstores.

What is your most treasured possession?
My teenage diaries.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Addiction. Betrayal. Or reading my teenage diaries.

What is your favorite occupation?
Radio station DJ.

What is your most marked characteristic?
Unexpected outbursts of emotion and/or volubility.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Emotional honesty, wit, ability to fix my machines.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Unashamed intelligence, willingness to laugh at my jokes.

What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty, listening, ability to buy me drinks.

What are your favorite names?
Bisco, Alexander, Elizabeth, anyone with three names and a suffix (e.g. Charles Emerson Winchester III)

How would you like to die?
Though it's my greatest fear, I would like to die in the sky.

What is your motto?
Trust yourself.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a cool idea. So cool that I have stolen it for my own writing practice.

I currently have a student who is the biggest Trek fan in the world. When I mentioned going to Pasadena several years ago, his eyes lit up and he asked if I'd seen "The Shat." Ah, good times.

ME

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

congrats on the 100th or 102nd post, man. Well done! Huzzah! Huzzah!
BS

1:27 PM  

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