Music Picks of the Week

If you read this blog with any regularity (let's not dwell too long on just how short that list is), you know that it's been a long time since I posted my music picks on anything remotely close to a weekly basis (Really, what do you people do without me?). So you should just assume that on the weeks I don't post my music picks, I am not listening to any new music at all. That will make it easier on both of us.

The Bad Plus: "(Theme from) Chariots of Fire"
This jazz trio is so good at covering cheesy pop numbers, I've totally ignored their original compositions. From what I've read, though, they're actually quite good. But why listen to potentially challenging original jazz when you can have a great time pondering how good this theme song could have been had the Bad Plus performed it for the original film? Of course, in that instance, the English runners would have been stumbling all over each other on that beach and totally turfing it, but at least the music would have been worth hearing.

It's actually better to hear this song if you don't know what it is first. (Guess I blew that for you, huh?) Maybe someday it will sneak up on you while you're listening to a non-commercial radio station that actually has the balls to play unclassifiably awesome jazz like this. Good luck!

Curumin: "Guerreiro"
I don't know if this song precedes Beck's latest album, Guero, or not. I don't even know if the word guerreiro has a similar meaning to guero. But whoever came up with these beats and these delightful Spanglish lyrics and this funk first is a goddamn genius.

Mark Eitzel: "Roll Away My Stone"
Eitzel has been on a bit of a downer (musically and psychologically) for the last few years, as far as I can tell. But this is his coldest song yet--a clinically harsh look at the singer's own misery and what it's going to take to get him out of it. I suppose if you're going to use Jesus metaphors to describe your crawl from the depths of self-loathing, you better be really miserable. And boy, does this song put you there. Don't put this on a road mix or you might drive yourself off a fucking cliff.

Anthony Hamilton: "Can't Let Go"
This song has been helping me with my post-Pickett funk. This guy is nowhere near as raw as Pickett--just the opposite, in fact. But that's why I'm loving this song right now. Smooth as a baby's ass, this song could have shown up anytime in the last 30 years and would have sounded exactly the same. It's waiting for you, whenever you're ready to come back into the light. Or after you change the diaper.

Diamond K: "Put Ya Leg Up"
If most club music is primarily manufactured to deliver an unforgiving beat at maximum bassy volume, then this song has already fulfilled its purpose. But if you are stranded at the bar, and you hear this come over the speakers, you will thank Diamond K for remembering that not everyone in da club is necessarily on da floor. Better yet, if you hear this come on at your favorite strip joint, and you know the words, I guarantee you will get half-off your next lapdance. And once you stop laughing, maybe you'll want to get out on da floor after all.

Juelz Santana: "I Am Crack"
I don't really know this song well enough yet to recommend it to anyone. But you have to love the title. Perhaps it was inevitable that some hip-hop gangsta would use this line soooner or later, but Juelz Santana was the first, and there will be a place in ghetto heaven for him.