Meh. Why Not?

Apparently, it helps to be bored before you engage with this meme. So while I'm waiting for some student to visit me in the next 40 minutes, I will engage you with my witless responses to the following questions.

Via Billville!

1. Elaborate on your default icon.
Um, I don't know what this means. Maybe this isn't the meme for me.

2. What's your current relationship status?
I have one partner and approximately 125 post-pubescent children.

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
I came close last night while listening to a college DJ detail the functions of his laptop for close to 30 minutes.

I've had a few near misses, but nothing I would call an "experience."

4. Name an obvious quality you have.
My short attention span and child-like susceptibility to lame memes like this.

5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"Back in Time" by Huey Lewis & the News. I just got word of NASA's new launch vehicle, and was thinking of writing a post on it, and started thinking of a clever title for my post ("Back to the Future"), and started thinking about the film, and started hearing the theme song incessantly. But was it BTTF2 or BTTF3? Please, someone, help me.

6. Any celeb you would marry?
I'm guessing that most celebrities are at least as shallow as I am, so I see it as more of a tempestous fling than a yearlong commitment, but let's go with Scarlett Johansson for now, since she's in that new Dylan video that I can't stop myself from watching.

7. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
I seem to recall some unflattering comparisons to Meatloaf.

8. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
I have a largish collection of Fossil watches, but have never bothered to replace the batteries once they wear out. Now I just use my phone.

9. Do you have anything pierced?
My ears are pierced daily by the singing of the woman in the office next to mine.

10. Do you have any tattoos?
One, which I had done on the same day and at the same parlor where two of my dear friends got their tattoos.

11. Do you like pain?
Well, I have a tattoo and I'm a PhD candidate and I teach composition and I am a liberal living in Southern Utah. You decide.

12. Do you like to shop?
Last night, on the eve of my first substantial payday in three months, I dreamt I was gathering books, magazines, and action figures in a large warehouse-like store devoted to selling objects only of interest to me.

13. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
I gave a cash tip to one of the cooks at a Mongolian BBQ. He was awesome.

14. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
I bought a copy of Mark Helprin's new novel.

15. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
My mother, oddly enough. She has two new kittens. And dozens of unfulfilled dreams.

16. What is on your desktop background?
This.

17. What is the background on your cell phone?
A soft but persistent voice that tells me to kill you.

18. Do you like redheads?
I'm with Springsteen on this one. Though I find redheaded men almost universally obnoxious.

19. Do you know any twins?
Just the gum-chewing blondes on bikes who sell me heroin.

20. Do you have any weird relatives?
Weird, verging on sociopathic.

21. What was the last movie you watched?
Werner Herzog's Fitzcarraldo. It's fucked up and disturbing and beautiful.

22. What was the last book you read?
Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq by Thomas E. Ricks