Pretty on the Inside
Schrand, goddamn him, over at Chronicle West, wants to play tag. I'm game this time, but only because I feel guilty for not posting regularly of late. So, without further ado, here are my innards (Or, as Lynyrd Skynyrd would have it, "innyrds." Did you know that band made a Christmas album in 2000? I didn't, until I looked up their web page to find out how they spelled "innards." Isn't the internet great?):
Fridge:
At the moment (which I guess is the whole point of this thing), there's an awful lot of booze in there. Two cases of Cutthroat Pale Ale and a bunch of Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay malt coolers (I'm drinking one now. Fruity!). The coolers are left over from a bachelorette party Dina attended in Vegas two weekends ago, and the beer was a belated housewarming gift. Hey, it gets hot here in the summer. It's good to have lots of, er, rehydrating options.
Wallet:
All the usual stuff, plus a lot of credit cards that don't work any more because they are either maxed out or I haven't made a payment for a while. (The Mortgage. It kills dreams and credit in one fell swoop.) I also have a laminated 15% tip guide, a bookstore charge card for Bowling Green, a Best Buy Reward Zone card, a Graywhale CD membership card (for the discount), a VIP customer card from Sullivan's Cafe (only six stamps away from a $20 discount), a library copy card (also from BG), a bunch of video rental cards, two different university ID's (to get me into frat parties), and a laminated "certificate of training" authorizing me to operate "pallet trucks, tow tractors, and fork lifts" (which I "earned" by watching a 20-minute safety video at the IRS). I also have a yellow Post-It attached to one of the inner pockets with my mailing address and office phone number written on it. (The memory, she is not so good.) About the only thing you won't find in my wallet is cash.
Closet:
I have a lot of closets now. Today I was looking at the ungodly number of space shuttle mission t-shirts I have. I have a shirt for every mission since construction began on the ISS. They're all in a big box on the floor because they take up too much space on the shirt rack. On the top shelf of the bedroom closet is my videotape library of episodes of Deep Space Nine and Star Trek: The Next Generation. Please, make me an offer.
Car:
On the back seat, two big garbage bags full of plastic recyclables. (You know, just doin' my part.) In the back window, a large plush Hulk (to scare away hipsters). An XM radio station guide. Remote control for the stereo (I only use it for the mute button). There's a small action figure of Data somewhere in there. Also bubble gum and a phone recharger.
Night stand:
On the night stand itself, there is only a clock radio, a florescent light, and a water glass. Beneath the night stand, however, are several large stacks of books and magazines. The stack closest to the night stand (the "active" stack) contains Bleak House by Charles Dickens, a book on iPods, Eric Foner's history of the Reconstruction, and Light in August by William Faulkner. Also current issues of Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, The Big Takeover, and The Economist, which I've just started liking.
Here's hoping this tedious list of minutiae will discourage Schrand from tagging me for a while. Ah, who am I kidding? I love shit like this.
Fridge:
At the moment (which I guess is the whole point of this thing), there's an awful lot of booze in there. Two cases of Cutthroat Pale Ale and a bunch of Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay malt coolers (I'm drinking one now. Fruity!). The coolers are left over from a bachelorette party Dina attended in Vegas two weekends ago, and the beer was a belated housewarming gift. Hey, it gets hot here in the summer. It's good to have lots of, er, rehydrating options.
Wallet:
All the usual stuff, plus a lot of credit cards that don't work any more because they are either maxed out or I haven't made a payment for a while. (The Mortgage. It kills dreams and credit in one fell swoop.) I also have a laminated 15% tip guide, a bookstore charge card for Bowling Green, a Best Buy Reward Zone card, a Graywhale CD membership card (for the discount), a VIP customer card from Sullivan's Cafe (only six stamps away from a $20 discount), a library copy card (also from BG), a bunch of video rental cards, two different university ID's (to get me into frat parties), and a laminated "certificate of training" authorizing me to operate "pallet trucks, tow tractors, and fork lifts" (which I "earned" by watching a 20-minute safety video at the IRS). I also have a yellow Post-It attached to one of the inner pockets with my mailing address and office phone number written on it. (The memory, she is not so good.) About the only thing you won't find in my wallet is cash.
Closet:
I have a lot of closets now. Today I was looking at the ungodly number of space shuttle mission t-shirts I have. I have a shirt for every mission since construction began on the ISS. They're all in a big box on the floor because they take up too much space on the shirt rack. On the top shelf of the bedroom closet is my videotape library of episodes of Deep Space Nine and Star Trek: The Next Generation. Please, make me an offer.
Car:
On the back seat, two big garbage bags full of plastic recyclables. (You know, just doin' my part.) In the back window, a large plush Hulk (to scare away hipsters). An XM radio station guide. Remote control for the stereo (I only use it for the mute button). There's a small action figure of Data somewhere in there. Also bubble gum and a phone recharger.
Night stand:
On the night stand itself, there is only a clock radio, a florescent light, and a water glass. Beneath the night stand, however, are several large stacks of books and magazines. The stack closest to the night stand (the "active" stack) contains Bleak House by Charles Dickens, a book on iPods, Eric Foner's history of the Reconstruction, and Light in August by William Faulkner. Also current issues of Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, The Big Takeover, and The Economist, which I've just started liking.
Here's hoping this tedious list of minutiae will discourage Schrand from tagging me for a while. Ah, who am I kidding? I love shit like this.
posted by Chazzbot at 9:14 PM
3 Comments:
Are you looking for an offer on the DS:9 or the mission t-shirts?
My mission t-shirts are still semi-precious to me. I'm waiting for the day when people have forgotten about the space program, and I will reveal a mission t-shirt concealed under my work shirt and tell the awed spectators glorious stories of our national achievements in space. Kind of like Kevin Costner in "The Postman", only in a more interesting way.
I figure I will someday replace the DS9 tapes with shiny DVDs, so any successful bid on the tapes will be applied to a collection upgrade.
Do American VHS tapes play on non-American equipment? I seem to remember not being able to buy any Doctor Who episodes on a compatible tape format last time I went to England.
Ah, but I'm assuming you're interested in the tapes, not the shirts. My bad?
DS:9 stuff is freely available and I was hoping for the mission t-shirts which I also rate as semi-precious.
Aussies have PAL format but I have a TV and VCR that can handle NTSC as well.
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