Is There a Hole I Can Get Sick In?

Recently, the wags responsible for the Weekly Review (a news summary I read on my radio show) included an item on the infamous note Bush wrote at a U.N. meeting. The note, in case you've forgotten, appeared to be asking Secretary of State Condeleeza Rice whether or not it was OK for the Leader of the Free World to take a potty break.

Some controversy was generated by the somewhat flippant tone taken by the Weekly Review in their summary. An angry letter writer (is there any creature more wretched?) took issue with the author of the Review for his seeming disrespect for the man who needs to be coached before attempting to appear spontaneous.

Anyway, I thought some of the responses to the angry letter writer were amusing and informative. Here's a selection:

TO: Harper's Weekly
FROM: William C. Wahl

Re: The minor debate over the relevance or importance of Bush's "I gotta pee, Condi." letter. I think it's perfectly valid commentary... can't he just put his hand up and asked to be excused? This event shows Bush's weakness of leadership. I can't imagine any other modern political leader passing such a note at a diplomatic meeting or whatever...

TO: Harper's Weekly
FROM: Warren Becker

We learn a bit more......

http://bagnewsnotes.typepad.com/bagnews/2005/week37/index.html

Bush asking Condi for permission to relieve himself?(That's what the caption said.) Take it as stolen evidence that he really can't think for himself. (And then, how many other world leaders would need two conditional declarations within the first four words about something so definitive, still need a question mark at the end of the sentence, and then have to ask again?)

TO: Harper's Weekly
FROM: Heather Preston

As Elizabeth Garner pointed out in her clarification, the President's state of mind is excruciatingly important to both the country and the world. Perhaps it should not matter, but with that much power concentrated in the chief executive of one government, it does. Hence, the President's level of dependence on his close associates is also important to all of us. The subject of the "BATHroombreak" note and the use of the question mark are both a bit odd. Is he asking permission to go from Sec'y Rice?

As a side note, there are very few publicly-available samples of verifiable George W. Bush handwriting, as The Baltimore Chronicle pointed out in a 2003 article, "Will the Real George W. Bush Please Write In?" The "BATHroombreak" note is one. The use of mixed capitals and lowercase letters without apparent reference to emphasis (I think I MAY NEED A BATHroom break?) is an ominous sign in itself, if handwriting analysis can be credited with any validity: "If a person uses both capital and small letters indiscriminately, they have no idea what is important in life and what is not important in life. They have no sense of priorities. They have no idea why they cannot function in society. They don't think they are being unreasonable, even though their financial and personal life is likely to be in chaos, and they may be getting into trouble with authorities." [from the "Actual Examples" section of the website of graphologist Maureen Burns] This description may be a bit of an overstatement when applied to President Bush, but the handwriting in this note has marked differences from handwriting found in GW Bush's gubernatorial papers. By all accounts, the president is feeling a great deal of pressure as indictments and investigations of close associates and important supporters mount on all sides, while stories of a return to alcohol use, temperamental outbursts, excessive scatology and references to "the will of God"accumulate. There is no question that the office puts huge pressure on any president - what is of concern immediately is how this particular president is handling it. This administration has been so careful in controlling information and access that the American people are left looking hard for any unscripted, uncontrolled moments as clues to what is actually going on with their president. In that context, paying attention to the"BATHroom break" note is neither low nor illogical.

TO: Harper's Weekly
FROM: Ben Sayre

Elizabeth Garner's second pass at justifying her claim that Bush's bathroom note to Rice is beneath mention because meaningless, well, it was better than her first shot, but she's still got a thin reed there. She asks what the note shows, what it could mean?

A) Bush has quite a random sense of capitalization as an expressive linguistic tool

B) He is so dependent on his advisors that he actually ASKS Rice if he has to go to the bathroom, "I think I MAY NEED A BATHroom break?" This goes a bit beyond having Rice digest the morning news and regurgitate it for him, and it is quite portentous for a guy who has to make decisions that affect many other lives.

Ms. Garner's also gotta get hip to the fact that a news item's inclusion in the Weekly (as I perceive the process) is a combination of import and on irony/humor. What is more ironic than Bush sitting in on a session of the most inclusive assembly on the planet and still playing the part of the wayward student passing half-literate notes in class? "This CLASs is SO BORing, I thINK I may need TO pooh?"

In related developments, the number of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq has reached 2000. I think they may need a break, too.

(Sunday's New York Times Magazine featured a chilling story on what the war has done to at least one soldier. And here is a list of the dead.)

And just in case you thought the White House wasn't taking things seriously, lawyers there have demanded that The Onion stop using the Presidential Seal on its website. At least someone in there has their priorities straight.